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In this realm, you are my Immortal Reality

pexels-photo-196666While I was too busy idolizing someone else’s relationship, marking Couple Goals; You were too occupied making ours the perfect one. You were not marking the goals, but creating couple goals for others.

The Couple I idolized broke up a long ago, & we are, wherever we are, because of you. To say, I am lucky to have you is an understatement. I’m content that in this realm of ours, our small little utopia, you are my immortal reality.

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The Roses u gave were good…

roses u gave

The roses you gave were good but the thorns were better.
The love you made was good but the betrayal was better.
The roses and love made me feel pleasant at first,
Soon turned into ashes and dust.
The thorns gave me scars for life,
Also the Betrayal wasn’t less than a knife, but
The betrayal is million times better than the love,
Unlike a slow poison, at once, told me to shove,
The feelings you had was a lie,
But now, my eyes are completely dry,
They have shed ample tears,
But you were always unaware.
I’m proud at the thought
You left me, because I would not.
I’m sad but optimistic for myself,
Dismayed but grateful to you, because
The roses u gave were good but the thorns were better.
The love you made was good but the betrayal was better…

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I weave my thoughts & me

pexels-photo-185939You talk on phone every night,
While sharing the bed with me,
It was my right to be your 3 AM Friend,
My right to know how your day went,
My right to know how things were,
My right to know what you’ve felt.
We kiss in the morning before you leave,
I spend the day trying to weave,
My thoughts & me,

Trying to figure out what’s wrong in me,  pexels-photo-299863
I’m the one you kissed at the altar,
The one you swore to love forever.
Now I see your love sparing apart,
It’s just a burden that you’re carrying far.
You left my heart broken down,
Treated my feelings like a clown.
You doubt my love if I confront,
& leave the room shouting loud

Are we going to stay together?
Or I’ll be alone,
Because I don’t have someone on the phone.
For me, it was just you,
You’re my always & forever.
I feel so low of me, shattered & stressed
To you, how do I express?
My love for you will always be the same,
But my trust in love is falling apart.
We see each other in eyes,
You look more boldly than I,
I tried to find shame in your eyes,
I couldn’t, you’re too arrogant for that
For you, my dark circles matter more,
Because you’ve forgotten to see through my soul.
You never asked me how I got these,
Ask yourself, you’ll know it’s you & she.
I laugh at the whole thing
With a tear in my eyes,
I say I don’t care, but I do
& I don’t know, what to do
My friends ask me about our conjugal life,
I’ve a doubt if you still consider me your wife,
I have to fake things up &
Make new stories
I don’t want them to feel sorry
I don’t even want you to feel sorry
I want you to be what you were
I still have the power to forget,
& carry on like we were.
I want to leave you the next morning every night,
But your kiss makes me feel everything is just right
I wait for you all day,
Thinking tonight will be different
& then I wait for you all night,
While you’re busy with her.
Or some nights that you come home,
You’re too stressed & irritated from work & me
Every time I smell her cologne on your clothes,
I want to question you, but I don’t
& Then every Night, I want to leave
But the next day, I weave my thoughts & me.

 

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Is my love there or not?

pexels-photo-377909There have been more instances than I can ever recall when I wanted you- a hot guy with a bushy beard, and brawny muscles. I would check your Facebook many times in a day just to check if you’re updating or to see u again.
There you are, in your tee flaunting your biceps and abs. Your lifestyle quite different from mine as seems from the Facebook has intrigued me beyond the limits. You’re a frequent traveler to places- with friends or alone. Traveling is your love. You have your friends and your gym with you, a girlfriend- I don’t know. I imagined it would be me. I wanted to be it.
But why do I want it?
Am I too insecure of myself? To not understand a simple saying-“All that glitters is not gold” or too stupid or immature to be fascinated by just one facade of you- your body.
Isn’t there much more of you than your body? Beyond your complexion, blue eyes, lips, bicep, six packs; I’m sure there must be your behavior, nature, temper, kindness,  self-esteem or good manners. 

 

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Being unaware of all these, I still wanted to be your friend, honestly,  more than that.
Why? Because I loved the way you appeared but never could I assume the way you would look at me, in my eyes. Because you have never looked at me ever even when I cross the street in front of your eyes every day. You seem to ignore my existence each time. That’s fine because you don’t know me. You don’t know if I’m there or not, glancing at you or not.
But is my love there or not? Is it an arousing curiosity or plain lust or a truthful love? If ever I get you, would I be able to proudly say that I have loved you from quite some time?

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Some Love stories are great but some, Magical

 

StockSnap_3SOTA2KHAIaSome love stories are great. You know, starting with friends & one day, finding a lover in them, but some love stories are Magic. Where two people are just so reluctant to even see other. With completely opposite habits, with so different opinions. Both have their own set of walls, barriers that hinder their love graph’s growth.

And then gradually, their love breaks the barriers one by one, creating a havoc in both minds. They realise their love for them but try hard to stop. There’s no falling in love, in a day, a week or a month. They both take their time to settle their issues & then decide to express it to each other. Their love really transcends it all