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A Decision

pexels-photo-325520.jpegA decision can adversely affect your life. I’m having the side-effects truly. My physics class is happening, for my least interest. Having tried all ways to understand physics, now I just want to raise my hand to give up. Giving up is no wrong, sometimes it’s for good, because the truth is we all are no Einstein’s or Newton’s. We can be great personality in arts or maybe we could definitely do something in management or be it anything a musician or an actor or a scientist or a teacher or just a clerk. It doesn’t matter what as long as we can choose to be good at it. The job least matters; what matters most is happiness. Are you making most of it, are you enjoying your work, are you happy doing your job or regretting your job, your life?

The decision that effed your life; It’s not about who made the decision, you or someone else. A bad decision is just bad and the consequences are even worse. The regretful decisions in our life’s are mostly made by someone else. You can’t blame them too because they are your loved ones or maybe above you. But such things just scar the relation forever.

Sometimes I want to cry so bad, but I can’t even cry. I have gone emotionally numb. I have become a stone. But touch my heart, touch my soul, you’ll feel how bad n loud it’s crying. It’s really hurting.

“Regrets comes in all shapes and sizes. Some regrets for doing the wrong thing, some regret for making the wrong choices but the biggest regrets in life are for not being able to do something, for not getting a chance to walk even few steps to the road of your passion—something that you loved doing, could do for hours without any reward, money.

I know, not everybody who follow their passion get success, but the few steps are the success in itself, the journey makes it just worth it. These few steps give you what the million dollars won’t be able to give you. It keeps you alive. It gives you a reason to work on every morning and a chance to thank god for blessing you with an attempt to do the thing you felt strongly for.

People should always be asked— “what you wish to do rather than what you aim to do?”. As to what I see and feel, there’s a subtle difference and strangely even the person is unable to figure that out until he’s wasted some years trying to find a satisfaction in his aim while he left his passion considering it was just a hobby.

Suppose, a person wants to sing or dance maybe, it doesn’t matter if he’s an expert or sloppy. It’s just simple—he wants to do it, he likes it. But he aims to be an engineer or say doctor. our aims in life are often a result of some influence but our vocations are true. So ask yourself is it my passion, can I do it for the rest of my life, if I have enough money would I just do it?

Once in a life, they must be given a chance to do what they want to do. I know I’d never be able to do what I wished to do, and now I wish every morning, for a chance to try that later in my life.

Decisions are the inevitable part of life. they are like ‘The road not taken’, tough but you’ve got to take them anyway, without any judgment just follow your heart.

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The Dark Sky and the clouds are as optimistic as the Grey Skies

Dark Skies are as optimistic as the Grey is (3)

The Dark Sky and the clouds are as optimistic as the grey sky.

The Silver Line above the cloud is so optimistic but trust me, the black clouds are equally or maybe more optimistic than the clear beautiful sky.

The grey clouds that tend to dim the lights of the sun, but only those clouds don’t let the sun’s light to diverge in the vastness of earth and then in these beautiful movements of the clouds, only once in a while, you do see a bright ray of light as perfect as the lord.

The ray with a sharp piercing focus, beautiful line running downstairs like that beautiful angel in white but with the vividness of a thousand rainbows.

Dark Skies are as optimistic as the Grey is (1)

Then there is the dark sky that seems to yell spells and curses but only in some time we are able to decipher the spells when it rains and beautifully dampens the dry earth, extracting aromas and auras and spreading it all around. Only the dark skies have the ability to rain on earth and the people. The rain that’s purer than the purest water on the mother earth.

In only the dark clouds, the thunderstorms, when lightning strikes the earth and makes so loud sounds; people are more silent and enjoying the nature’s play while looking at the power of it, in awe of nature.

When it rains, the purity of water dilutes all the negativity in the people and fills them with gaiety. They are always joyful when it rains.

“A clear sky never rains” is what they say and they never said it wrong.

So, Cheers to the Grey & Dark Clouds.

 

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Feelings for Myself & My Friends… End of College

4It’s nothing new what I’m feeling for myself and my friends.
College is ending and we’re just marking these days, can’t cross them on the calendar, because they have been the best days of our lives. On the verge of making our careers, shaping our lives, yet full of confusion.
I’m determined and worried at the same time, for me and friends. At one end there’s a certainty that we’ll all do well and at the other a commotion. The commotion to know how it will all happen. It’s all gibberish I know, but that’s exactly how I feel and that’s the peak of clarity my thoughts currently can have.

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Jobs, Business, Success, Failure, Entrepreneurship, what had been just simple English terms just a while ago when we were laughing in our classes, are going to be a reality, our reality just in a month.

I panic at the fact that we aren’t going to meet every day. We’ll have to plan a week or a month before, just to see each other for a day.

I really remember our gossips about anything, literally anything, baseless conversations on phones for hours. Now in a blink, it’s ending.

I wished to stop the time, in the moment of happiness when I just woke you from an amazing dream when we are meeting in the way and heading for the college together. While waiting for one of us, we all are chilling, creating new happy moments together.

But it was too late to try, because the following moment woke me up, frightened and surprised. What I was so vividly enjoying in the last moment was a beautiful dream and I was horrified too because in the dream, we all called it the last day. I rebelled n my dream as well. But the fact remains a fact, an unchallenged and an unchangeable one indeed.

Each day is creating a new anxiety in me, there are fears unknown, feelings unexpressed. I don’t know what I should say or do—I just can pray for a great career simply for all of us.

 

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Maybe some Fantasies are just better than the Reality !

parisI’m a sky-watcher, cloud-gazer. I gaze at the stars, the moon wondering how it’d be like to be there, live there.

I’m also the one who’d get very happy at the sight of an Eagle or an Aeroplane in the vast sky. I would wonder how they fly so flawlessly. I’d wonder who’d be there in the Aeroplane, what they’d be doing? All the irrelevant questions maybe.

Well, I’m also the one who knows that in the world of data and knowledge, finding anything is a matter of minutes. But I don’t want to know. I just want my imagination to wander off to think of what may be happening rather than to seek on what is happening.

Because, it’s intriguing until I don’t know it, it might lose its sense to me, begin to stop giving me the highs that it presents me now.

Maybe some Fantasies are just better than the Reality.

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My life is just like my diary…

GoSolo (2)My life is just like my diary. Few pages are filled completely, the others blank. All the pages have their own rhymes to recite, own tempo, own highs and lows.
Some pages have a horror story written on them, I regret to have those because I was both, the writer and the protagonist.
While some pages have a story- What if Story? These are the pages I couldn’t fill up well but I wish I could.

Then some pages are the doodles- the ones I made in leisure, whose meanings I don’t know or the relevance of those to the person I was that moment of my life.

“My life is just like my diary”. Some pages filled, some blank but it’s a beautiful diary and it’s my diary.

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A Book is just a stupid set of lines…

GoSolo (1)A Book is just a stupid set of lines. Nobody can really understand anything.

People read and make a meaning out of it to their understanding or the extent that suits them.

A book is a part of someone else’s life that they’ve left for others as they’ve already lived it. They either want to share that part with you or throw it away far from them like an amputated arm.

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Only with the writer’s state of mind, their circumstances can we understand the true meaning of his lines, by not just reading a language but living the emotions. But is that possible? To have that state of mind to read between the lines. The metaphors, the words can all be a lie, a deceiving trickery by the author or may have a deeper meaning than we can ever imagine or grasp.

But we all love to read, to at least grasp the macro idea of it while trying and looking for something meaningful relevant to us in some way.

 

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My Heart is Beach…

GoSolo (4)My heart is Beach; your footsteps are all I have. The pretty shells, oysters, conchs that come to shores once in a while and then go back to ocean with the next wipe are our memories together. Memories that we made together, having little laughs every day.
There’s a thing about memories, they’re never good or bad, the situation makes them, similarly, these shells aren’t either bad or good, our being far is to blame.

GoSolo (6)Just like rivers meet, our hearts diffused to create this beautiful ocean of ours. And this ocean’s depth was my love for you. And like a magic trick, while my eyes just blinked, your heart left me. Because we were one ocean, weren’t we? Now the depth of the ocean is the deepness of my thoughts.

The eyes that saw you every time, that fixed the shape of you in every shadow, in every crowd. And these waves are my eyes, the rising and settling waves, which weep more often than not these days. Each tear, each wave whispers something in my ears-‘You’re gone, for better or for worse, but you’re definitely gone.’ These waves secretly wipe our names on the sand that we wrote together, the lyrics of the songs that we hummed together, and take the shells of our memories that we played with together from the shore.

I’m not happy, I’m not sad, I’m numb, just one of those I don’t care moods. These waves are taking the weights of my heart, the shells from this sand. At least, my waves won’t harm me, they’re loyal, and I know this.

My Quest

pexels-photo-185933I’m trying to find silence amidst the chaos,
I’m trying to find love in a dark place.
I’m trying to find my soul in the world,
I’m trying to be a better person
I’m trying to find an art that makes us want to think from the eye of the artist
I’m trying to find a Music that forces us to think & feel the Writers, Singers
I’m trying to find a poem that makes us want to imagine,
I’m trying to write an article that makes us want to believe again, in truthfulness and change.
I’m trying to find the strangers that have the most amazing stories, pristine and untold.
I’m trying to find the love that makes us feel good & content.
I’m trying to find the happiness that is inside us all, behind that laugh we suppress
I’m trying to find an idea that has the power to change it all
I’m trying to find the courage that has the ability to speak the right in the face of wrong
I’m trying to find truth that connects us to our God
I’m trying, I might even fail, I might even do good or nothing at all, but I don’t wish to stop my endeavors that get me close to my Success’s Door.