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This Love- Curiosity or lust?

pexels-photo-377909There have been more instances than I can ever recall when I wanted you- ‘The’ hot guy with bushy beard and brawny muscles. I would check your Facebook multiples of times a day just to know what you’re upto now.
There you are, in your tee flaunting your biceps and abs. Your lifestyle, quite different from mine, at least it seems so from the Facebook. I’m intrigued beyond limits.

You’re a frequent traveler to places- with friends or alone. Traveling is your love. You have your friends and your gym with you, a girlfriend- I don’t know. I imagined it would be me. I wanted to be it.
But why do I want it?

Am I too insecure of myself? To not understand a simple saying-“All that glitters is not gold” or too stupid or immature to be fascinated by just one facade of you- your body.
Isn’t there much more of you than your body? Beyond your complexion, blue eyes, lips, bicep, six packs; I’m sure there must be more- your nature, temper, kindness, humanity, self-esteem or good manners. 

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Unaware of all these, I still want to be your friend, honestly,  more than that.
But why? Because I loved the way you appeared but never could I assume the way you would look at me, in my eyes. Because never have you looked at me ever even when I cross the street in front of your eyes every day. You seem to ignore my existence each time. You don’t know if I’m there or not, glancing at you or not.

However, does my love exist or not? Who’s it for? For someone I don’t know a bit about?
Is my love an arousing curiosity or plain lust or a truthful love? Even if ever I get you, would I be able to proudly say that I have loved you from quite some time?

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Then the Stranger asked me the strangest question

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An odd day it was, with the usual hustle yet a different aura. I was traveling to work when a fellow passenger,“The Stranger” asked me the strangest question.

He asked me—“What did I want from my Life?” On a quest he seemed, and seemed a little worried as well. His Sub-conscious forced him to ask the question probably. I said-“Let me think.”

The question was as odd as the journey that my brain sailed till it answered the result. Millions of visions, Billions of thoughts, but still I was more than far from words. I traversed my childhood to the very moment. Memories were many, but I was supposed to come up with conclusions and statements.

I stuck on the thought and asked myself recurrently on what exactly did I want. Each recurrence made me delve in and reach a bit towards my final answer. My thoughts were—

I wanted Self-Esteem from life so that I can live proud and see myself as someone worthy enough, to face my own self in the Mirror every day and night.

I wanted Positivity from life so that I can feel connected to my God and loved by him, to handle every day chores.

I wanted Honesty from life so that I can live satisfied and never in a fear that someone else might cheat me or a guilt that never lets me live or sleep any moment.

I wanted Novelty from life, and also passion to search for it myself, to feel high on life, to be on a Hidden quest every day.

I wanted Kindness from life to be a sympathetic and a warm-hearted soul, and as they say-“Kind People are the happiest because they forgive and forget the easiest. They never hold on to the hurtful things, always be humble and pleasant.”

I wanted Trueness and loyalty from life to have and keep the Best relationships. To keep my Kith and Kin feel loved, comforted and happy always, distance no matter what.

I wanted Courage from life to face the wrong for the weak, to speak for it, to inspire it to take the driver’s seat of their lives.

After a while—he intervened and prompted me to reply quickly as it was his station and doors of the train were open. Without a second thought, I knew what I wanted and I uttered—“I wanted a ‘Good Night Sleep’ from life”. We exchanged our last and uncanny glance, and then he left, with a queer smile on his face.